I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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