Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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