No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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