North Korea, Best Korea!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
