i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
