weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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