WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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