Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
