let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
