I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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