i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
