is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
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