you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
