Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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