somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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