I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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