This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
