oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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