i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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