I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The ass gains better be worth it
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