Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
