I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize