Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The ass gains better be worth it
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