I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
