The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
