theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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