I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Let's get the cat blown out
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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