Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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