..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
