I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
