Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
