You smell like stripper and shame
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
