so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
