It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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