Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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