If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
