I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
