i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
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Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
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You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
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