ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
