so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize