how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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