I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
