Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
