Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
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