Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
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these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
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Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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