If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
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I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
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i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.