I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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