Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
