Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
