Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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