so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I have fence marks all over my body
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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