Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
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my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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