I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
