WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
