her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
being pregnant is like rehab
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
