i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
