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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.

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• (714): View more from California

  I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.

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• (909): View more from California

  Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.

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