AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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