Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
