My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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