Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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