dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
