So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
