You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
