i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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