She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
