I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
